Sunday, November 11, 2012

Waiting, waiting, waiting!

Let’s just get this out of the way: I. HATE. WAITING.

There. I said it. I am probably the world’s most impatient person. EVER. It's something only God can truly work on, has been working on, and will probably CONTINUE to work on for the rest of my life here on Earth. I don’t like waiting on growth, waiting on relationships, waiting on exciting roadtrips, waiting on words of direction for the Lord, waiting while He prepares my future….waiting for the CIU wi-fi to load, waiting for TV shows to come out every week, waiting for dinner time when I'm especially hungry, waiting on friends to talk to me, waiting on the light to go green, waiting on….you get the general idea. Big or small, if it involves waiting on something, chances are I don’t like it.

That ESPECIALLY applies to the big things. Liiiiike this whole “waiting on a relationship” big thing.
I’m going to a church right now that is wrapping up a 10 week marriage series. Yes. A MARRIAGE SERIES. “Bethany…you’re talking about waiting…and being single…WHY on EARTH would you choose a church that spent your ENTIRE first semester of freshman year talking about MARRIAGE?”

(I’m also a little (edit: a lot) hyper as I write this. Just to put that out there…)

To be honest, I have no idea why I chose the church that I did. I have no idea why the idea of sitting in on 10 weeks of talking about marriage was appealing to me, or why I decided to wait it out through this really awkward life period I’m in right now. The only meaningful conclusion I can come to is, it WASN’T me. Choosing Midtown was totally, completely, UTTERLY a God thing, and I’m so thankful that He didn’t let me give in to my petty little “but Jesus I’m SINGLE” pity parties.

Now. Back to this whole waiting business.

Adam told a story this morning about the Jewish custom of betrothal…now affectionately known around Midtown as “engagement on steroids”. Essentially, as I understand it, in Jewish culture when a young man was betrothed to a young woman, they were legally bound to one another. To end the betrothal would be the rough equivalent of filing for a divorce. As soon as the betrothal was official, the young man would go away and begin preparing (a.k.a. building) a house and home for his beautiful wife to come live in with him after they got married. But the thing WAS, she had no idea when the house would be done, and so she had no idea when the love of her life would be coming to make the marriage official, and sweep her off to start their new lives together.

My reaction? “Ugh. Waiting. Cute waiting…but waiting.”

But essentially…isn’t that what life is all about? Waiting for something in the future that we have no timetable for? And I’m not really talking about marriage, or relationships, or jobs, or college acceptance or ANYTHING like that. I’m kind of talking about Jesus.

Jesus is the bridegroom of the church…and just like the bridegroom in Jewish culture, he’s gone away to prepare a place for us to live with Him. ETERNALLY. And we, His bride, the church, on earth, have NO idea when He will return to sweep us off for our new lives together. So isn’t life ITSELF, just a huge, momentous bundle of nothing but waiting for JESUS to come back? And we’re not just called to wait and twiddle our fingers, we’re called to use our lives to make more of Him. To know Him, and to make Him known.

So LIFE is nothing but waiting, but I suppose when you put into perspective that we’re waiting on Jesus, all those other little things kind of pale in comparison. Maybe common sense, but waiting is definitely something I've been struggling with lately, and this was definitely some much needed hammering of my perspective back into place. I am nowhere NEAR to being good at this, as much as I would like to say that I am. I'm still super impatient, and I still don't like waking up each day NOT KNOWING if this is the day that my life changes, or I finally get that one phone call, or I finally get that text that says I miss you, or that job that prepares me for my career or....I could go on. But I think essentially, God's pushed me to it and now He's pushing me through it. 

And the very fact that I'm still standing here and not ranting and raving on the phone to my little sister about how FRUSTRATED I am with impatience, is a sure sign that God is sovereign, in control, and able to change even the most stubborn hearts. I.E. MINE :) 


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