Monday, May 6, 2013

11 Days.

Eight A.M. An alarm clock rings and the bunk beds shift as roommate rolls over to hit the snooze button ABOUT 3 times before either of us really considers getting of bed. She drags herself up and I somehow make it down the ladder without slipping and simultaneously dying, and after showers, dressing, coffee and (ironically) devotions we muster up enough energy to grumble about how much we hate mornings. Walking out the door to Old Testament involves me looking down at my phone and mentally adjusting the running countdown in my head.

"15 days. 13 days. 12. 11." 

Eleven days between me and freedom. Eleven days between me and no homework, no worries, no responsibilities and no schedules. Eleven days [and counting] until mornings are allowed to start at noon, my biggest question is what book I want to read for the day, and my beautiful family is only as far away as the steps it takes to get downstairs. This has much too easily become our routine...trudging to class, counting the days, and wishing away life so hard that I forget to remember that once summer comes all the blessings that I take for granted DAILY will be too far away for me to get to them anymore.

I get so caught up in looking forward that I forget to be this beautiful place that God has seen fit to put me in His providence. I long for a future that I can't even grasp yet, and forget that there are people in the now that need to be loved, because in a few days they will be out of reach. There will be no smiles across the cafeteria, no stolen fistbumps, no laughter and music that filters down the hall while the rest of us are trying to sleep.

And everytime my roommate opens the door and smiles "I love you roommate" I am reminded that there is so much laughter, love and encouragement to be grasped in this moment that summer can wait until it is truly time for it to get here. If you continue to chase joy found in future plans, it will continue to elude you until you can't chase it anymore.

So, I will spend my next two weeks trying to be here. Trying to find the joy in doing homework to the soundtrack of One Republic's new album, instead of grumbling because I have to do homework at all. Looking for the blessings in rainclouds and thunder storms, instead of complaining because now the walk to the library is that much longer. Being thankful because in just two short weeks, my best friends will be working at camp or traveling overseas, and I will have to resort to letter writing and Skype calls, and the promises of an all faithful God to love, protect and encourage them when I can't.

And when summer finally does rise on the horizon, I will be so busy living that I won't realize all the assignments and long nights and tired tears have finally given way to relaxation and rest punctuated by my family.

I owned every second that this world could give, I saw so many places the things I did, and with every broken bone, I swear I lived

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