Thursday, August 9, 2012

A Letter To Me...

I'm down to my last day at home, and move out and then move IN looms on the horizon. The new class of Impacters is getting ready to take over and attempt to measure up to the class of 2012's awesome legacy ;) And I got to thinking that if anyone had asked me a year ago today how I saw my life at the end of Summer 2012....well, I'd have no idea how to answer. So here's how I'm thinking about that...

Dear Bethany, 

You've just graduated and you're getting ready to move away from home. To Georgia no less! You're a little bit anxious, a little nervous, and a little bit more excited than you let on. Don't's really not that bad. Sure, it'll be a little weird being THAT far away from family...but the time flies. You'll be heading home before you know it, and no matter which "home" you're at you'll always feel like a little piece of you stayed behind at the other one. 
God's about to do some crazy your mind, your heart, and your life. There's really nothing to say to prepare for it, except that in the end it really is all okay. He knows what He's doing, He feels your pain, your joy, your victory and struggles, and He's walking the hard road with you. All of these are good things to remember, because there are a lot of really hard nights coming where it will seem like NONE of this is true. 
The 30 people that are about to walk into your life are crazy. They are unexpected. They are not in any way, shape or form what they seemed like when you formed your mistaken first impressions. They will become your family, some of your closest friends, and you will not know how much they mean to you until you can't just walk out the door and find one of them in 3 minutes or less anymore. Be slow to speak and quick to listen. But ready to share. Open your heart, even at the expense of getting hurt. The lessons, people, conversations, and joy that God has prepared is completely unimaginable. Also, just get ready for some EXTREME surprises. Best friends will come in people that you don't expect, and in timing that you didn't plan for. 
To love means vulnerability, which is something that you don't even know you're opposed to yet. You are. Fight through it, because having people speak truth into your heart makes up for the embarrassment, shame and fear. You're not the only one struggling, no matter how much it seems like it. 
Spring Break will be awesome. Enjoy it while it lasts :) 
Most of all, just remember that God is in control. Commissioning will come quickly, even though 9 months sounds like a really, really long time. Crying is good, even though you don't think so. Letting go and giving God control is HARD, and you still haven't learned it, but take a few tenative steps and watch how much easier and peaceful life becomes. He's looking out for you the entire time. 
Enjoy the simple memories. The movie nights and Lost dates and Sunday mornings and Hall meetings and RIDICULOUS roommates because there will never be anything else quite like this :) Remember the value of getting off by yourself and just talking to your Savior. Let people love you. Make mistakes, be ready for the consequences, and learn (rather stubbornly) that you have no idea what God has planned.
You still don't. 
9 months from now you will be a different person...but you will be more of whom God intended you to be...and less of the person you think everyone wants to see. 
Bethany (August 9th, 2012) 

Funny how much love, change, surprise, people, wonderfulness and the occasional bleh it took for God to bring us from here :) 

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