Oh Lord My God

Oh Lord my God

The beauty of your majesty is beyond any glorious thing that I could ever imagine

My human significance becomes utterly insignificant when I dwell in the light of your grace

My human rights no longer remain when I consider the beauty of your love and mercy

I am but a creation, an earthen vessel crafted at the hand of a master sculptor, unknown as of yet whether I am destined for a palace or a storage room

Yet I am outraged. Outraged at your protection. Outraged at your love. Outraged at your justice and the people of your choosing.

In my finiteness I cry “I am overwhelmed!” In my insecurity I weep “I have been wronged!” In my human depravity I crouch in a corner, wrapped in a threadbare, unraveling blanket of pride and self-strength.

Yet in my joy, in God’s glorious joy, I scream “I have been redeemed. I am purchased. I am valuable. And I am loved!”

Lord that these words might batter the walls between my head and my heart, so they may lie in powdered rubble as a pathway to the very depths of my tattered soul.

I am barreling headlong to the open gates that lead to fields of pride and rivers of self revulsion. A world in which the clouds rain condemnation and the grass grows with the blood of those who have fallen before me. Yet you Oh Lord BREAK ME. You push me to the ground again and again, until I am so helpless that I am unable to even lift my head to look towards the open gates that beckon me. And as I lay, trembling and terrified, You gather around me and alongside my brothers and sisters, as you lift me and gently carry me back to a world that is filled with nothing less than the human representation of your love. You leave me, for but a little while, with my sisters and brothers, as you go to prepare a place for us where we can spend eternity basking in the warmth of a relationship with the one who is the very definition of love and adoration.

Oh Lord that I may realize the depths of your love. That I may understand that I am beautiful, because YOU are beautiful. That I am valuable, because YOU value me. That I am  longed for, preferred, pursued, because YOU are all of these things, and yet dwell within me.

Lord Jesus, open my heart.