Monday, June 17, 2013

day 17: walking backwards.

We've started a new tradition at the Stewart house! Monday lunch time has officially been dubbed Disney Movie Monday :) This happened because we told Matthew [the baby] to pick a Disney movie he had never seen so we could watch it, and his response was "ShiSha, there's lots of Disney movies I haven't seen." WHAT?! Your childhood is missing!!!! So we [Tricia and me] have made it our mission to introduce him to as many of our favorites as possible in the next couple of months :)

So that was the highlight of my Monday! Now. On to blog posting. Today is a quote!

"I walk slowly, but never backwards." 
- Abraham Lincoln - 

I think this is probably one of my biggest struggles....looking backwards while I'm trying to move forwards. I was JUST on Skype with one of my lovely heart piece friends, and we were talking about how she has the wonderful ability to 'be present wherever the Lord puts here'. To bloom where she's planted, so to speak. 

I do not have this trait. AT ALL. I miss people that I used to be with, places that I used to live, and memories when they hadn't quite become memories yet. More than that, sometimes I find myself missing the person I was then, who those people were to me, and the things I didn't yet know. 

That's dangerous. Beyond dangerous. Why? Because the past is the past for a reason. Going back means walking backwards, and it means moving farther from the Lord, rather than closer. As much as I miss the memories that Bethany from the past made 6 months, a year, 5 years ago, becoming her again would mean closing off my heart to so many of the lessons God has taught me....and the maturity that has been gained by His grace. 

I'm not saying I need to forget the past...it's made me who I am, and every memory, trial, and joy filled moment is special to me. But there's a difference between remembering the past...and clinging to the past.  The Bible has so many verses about eternally, future based perspective....but I'll pick one of my favorites :) 

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 
- 2 Corinthians 4:18 -

Okay, so it doesn't specifically say 'keep moving forward and never look back' :P But it's my reminder not to live in the past. Besides, where's the fun in that? You've already lived it....you've been there before! Letting go is hard for me, but it's something I'm starting to learn. And it makes the past something to be treasured, and the future something to anticipate with joy instead of anxiousness...and that's exciting too :) 


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